


Noveria - Peak 15

by MalikRuttingAssassinAss



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: 'Mira' VI core, 100 omnigel my arse, Complete, Lieutenant Alenko, M/M, Mass Effect 1, Noveria, PTSD, Seriously fuck that VI core puzzle, battlefield blowjob, shortbreads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalikRuttingAssassinAss/pseuds/MalikRuttingAssassinAss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was cold, no surprises there, considering the planet they were on, but even deep inside the memory core of the Peak 15’s VI core, Mira, Shepard could still feel the stinging in his fingers and toes. And standing still definitely didn’t help either, not that he had much of a choice when it came down to moving the modules between the active systems. He glared at the displayed system, wishing it would just stop being a prick and get in a working conduct port and turn the stupid bitch back the fuck on.</p><p>Shepard and Kaidan face the pain in the arse that was the 'Mira' VI core puzzle in Noveria's Peak 15.<br/>And fail.<br/>With angsty, sexy consequences. </p><p>(No seriously fuck that puzzle.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Noveria - Peak 15

It was cold, no surprises there, considering the planet they were on, but even deep inside the memory core of the Peak 15’s VI core, Mira, Shepard could still feel the stinging in his fingers and toes. And standing still definitely didn’t help either, not that he had much of a choice when it came down to moving the modules between the active systems. He glared at the displayed system, wishing it would just stop being a prick and get in a _working_ conduct port and turn the _stupid_ _bitch_ back the _fuck_ on.  
  
“Commander!”  
  
Shepard swivelled his head up, taking a step back to see the Lieutenant hanging over the side of big gaping hole the VI’s core was built into, his features indistinguishable at such a distance.   
  
“Alenko..?”  
  
The Canadian shifted, checking behind him for a moment for what Shepard guessed were hostiles, before turning his attention back to his Commander.  
  
“Ash’s gone to scout the surrounding area. We’ve detected no further Rachni, but it doesn’t hurt searching for survivors.” The biotic paused. “What are you doing down there anyway? It looks like a game.”  
  
“It feels like one too. This is stupid. We don’t have time to fuck around with these damn blocks with no clear pattern as to how to put them in the correct slots.” Shepard briefly thought about drawing his assault rifle on the controls, shooting the shit out of it and saying _fuck it_ to the whole damn mission. He’d kill anything to get out of the cold and back to the Normandy.   
  
Kaidan grunted softly and shifted on the spot, fingers flexing at his sides as he bounced on his toes. He was probably the same thing he was – or maybe not. He’d mentioned his mother telling him to take a sweater, maybe he was desperate to return to the Normandy for different reasons? Shepard gave a soft smile to the Lieutenant, imagining him on his omnitool, either speaking or typing away to his mother about how she was right about the sweater, how cold Noveria was and how he’d nearly died an unspeakable amount of times in just the Mako with Shepard at the wheel alone.   
  
In such a vicious war, it was easy to forget there was still humanity left in Alliance soldiers, and meeting Kaidan had reminded him of that, even if the man was such a tight-lipped little regulations bitch sometimes and too professional for his own good.  
  
“You know, two heads are better than one, maybe we can solve it faster together..?” Shepard suggested once he realised the cold was probably more of a problem for Kaidan, considering he was wear _light_ armour and not medium like Shepard. He didn’t have the same temperature controls as he did in his suit, except it didn’t really help seeing it heated his chest and not much else.  
  
“Good idea, Commander. I’m calling up the platform now. Steady your footing.” And then the Lieutenant disappeared from sight. Shepard waited, a smirk slowly forming on his face the longer the biotic spent looking for a ‘call up’ button that he knew wasn’t there. Hell, if it got the man moving around a little longer and kept him warm, plus amused the hell out of him, it was worth it.  
  
“I uh…” His head popped up over the hole again. “I can’t find it.” He knelt down and Shepard wouldn’t blame the guy if he was getting vertigo because he was getting the same trippy feeling just craning his neck up to see him. Also, there was no real threat of him falling down a deep hole he was already at the bottom of, whereas Kaidan was at the top, probably feeling sick at the height if the deep swallows he kept taking were any indication.  
  
“That’s because it’s down here.” Shepard grinned, ignoring the sting of his cold, chapped lips splitting at the action.  
  
“… Wait, so why did you _let_ me look for a control panel that only exists down there – right next to you..?” The Lieutenant cleared his throat. “…Sir.”  
  
The Commander chuckled and shrugged, hitting the controls with the side of his fist that begun the elevation of the platform.   
  
“You need to keep moving, Lieutenant. It’s probably why Ash broke off to look ahead, not only to look for survivors but also to keep warm. Come on, Alenko, a gunnery chief is making you look bad, and you’re a Staff Lieutenant. I bet you weren’t doing anything but standing here, shivering and grumbling about snow in your boots.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Commander. I’ll remember to move next time.” He gave a salute, and it wasn’t mocking. Shepard doubted Kaidan could ever give a mock salute; he was too much of a subservient to be insubordinate, which only made Shepard smirk more as the platform settled on level ground. Kaidan shifted on the spot, looking sheepish, cold and like a kicked Varren all in one go.   
  
“Well?” Shepard shrugged.  
  
“Permission to come aboard, Commander?” The playful smirk proved his jest, but still the words were said with passion, as if he was back talking to him at the end of the Normandy’s boarding platform saluting perfectly, bag in hand and uniform pressed neatly – probably by his mother.  
  
And Shepard was smirking again at the thought of Kaidan’s mother fussing over him.

 

 _You want to look good for your new Commanding officer and Captain, because if you don’t have a gun in hand and enemies overhead, then you’ve only got your looks to prove you’re any worth._  
  
Ok, that was more something Udina would say to him – and instead of _looks_ he’d probably be talking about _service record_ , but it still sounded right.  
  
“Permission granted, Lieutenant. I bet that line works with all the ladies.”  
  
He turned away and grinned as the Lieutenant sputtered and choked on his own spit, jabbing the controls to lower them slowly to the pit of the VI’s partially functioning core. He wished he could lean against a wall or something, but considering the walls were moving past them, he didn’t fancy getting his suit caught on a processor and have the embarrassing situation of having his Lieutenant slowly remove and lower him to safety with biotics.  
  
“I… wouldn’t know, Commander. I’ve never worked under a _female_ authority figure before.”   
  
Shepard almost didn’t catch the Lieutenant’s husky reply, and when he did, it took him to realise what Kaidan _actually meant_. Shepard turned and gave the biotic a good hard stare, the confession repeating over and over in his head until all he was hearing was;   
  
_‘never worked a female figure before.’_

 

“Good. We wouldn’t want you getting distracted if I had a vagina and a body to suit it.” Shepard chuckled, pushing the very thought of it to the pit of whatever deep hole he had to quell such urges.  
  
“It doesn’t take _just_ female _assets_ to distract me, Commander. But, I tend to not look. Not looking at… _assets…_ means you’re looking for the enemy instead. Distractions cost lives, Commander.”  
  
“And by _assets_ you mean _asses_.” It was a pretty blunt reply, but they were both men here, even if Alenko did tend to lean towards _regulatory_ - _nun_ sometimes.  
  
The man didn’t reply.  
  
“I’ll tell Ash to watch our backs, cover our six, if her ass is distracting you, Lieutenant.”  
  
Kaidan cleared his throat and Shepard turned to watch the man squeezing his fingers under his armpits to retain some warmth.  
  
“Permission to speak freely, Commander?”   
  
“Permission granted, soldier.”  
  
“If we’re talking about who should take our six if their _assets_ distract us, then it’s you who should be taking the back, not the Gunnery Chief.” Kaidan paused, eyes deviating to the control panel over Shepard’s shoulder. “I apologise if that seemed too …” He lost his words and reached a set of his surprisingly delicate looking fingers to his forehead. “…I spoke a bit _too_ freely there.”  
  
“I gave you permission, Lieutenant. It’s my fault if I’m offended.”  
  
The biotic opened his eyes quickly again and blinked, his mouth twisting into something of unease.  
  
“I said _if_ you offended me. Complimenting my ass doesn’t involve shooting at me, spitting acid at me, stealing Prothean data from me, trying to turn me into a Husk, bombing me or declining entry into a _damn_ Mako garage. So, at ease soldier, I’m unoffended.”  
  
“I’ll try to remember that, Sir.” Kaidan whispered as he slowly relaxed from his hyper-tense state. “Thank you.”  
  
“Still doesn’t change the fact you stare at my ass during missions.” Shepard chuckled and turned to the control panel. “Are you going to help me with this or are you going to… _evaluate my assets?_ ” He cocked his hip to the side as he activated the system and displayed the one broken processor compared to the other two.  
  
“It looks like we need to move these nodes over to either of these two other ones. I don’t think it matters which one, they look like back-up systems anyway.” Kaidan avoided the question perfectly, though Shepard still saw how he edged around it regardless.  
  
“Really..?” He grumbled. “If I needed the obvious stated, I would’ve brought Wrex on this mission.”  
  
“Sorry, Commander...” The Lieutenant smirked as he stood shoulder-to-shoulder with his commanding officer. “I think better with all the cards on the table.”  
  
“Well aren’t you just a sweetheart..? All the ladies must fall in love with your cute little quirks.”  
  
“Holy shit!” Kaidan suddenly snapped as he brought up his omnitool. Shepard jumped a little, not expecting the outburst. He drew his heavy pistol , expecting Kaidan to bounce off Ash was in trouble, needed rescue, enemy were inbound, they were surrounded, but he said nothing, just concentrated on the omnitool on his arm.

 

“Lieutenant..?” He eventually breathed, pistol slowly making its way back into the holster.  
  
“I’m getting phenomenal readings here Commander! The sarcasm level has maxed out on the charts!”  
  
“Very funny, Alenko…” Shepard grinned, because it was funny, never mind the fact he almost had a heart attack. If it was anyone else, he would have reminded them of their place, told them to pull their head back into business and do their _damn job properly_ … but this was Kaidan. He already knew his place, he always was _business_ , so it was nice to see in (very rare) moments he had a sense of humour too, no matter how dry it turned out to be.  
  
“I thought you said you’d help me with this. So far you’ve broken 8 regulations against fraternisation and 3 against scaring the _shit_ out of a commanding officer with a joke.”   
  
“My apologies, sir, the opportunity was there and I couldn’t avoid it.” Kaidan leant forward and brushed his hand over the controls. “Give me a little time and I’ll be able to memorise each movement for each block. It seems when you move one block, it has an effect on the others. The wrong combination means complete reset and having to start over. Putting it in simple terms, it’s a simplified program that avoids having to go into the system itself and rewiring the circuits.”  
  
“Rewiring the circuits sounds a hell of a lot easier.” Shepard grumbled.  
  
“Yeah, but that would involve a lot of omni-gel which we just don’t have since we had to stop and make repairs on the Mako due to your dri-… er… hazardous conditions.” Kaidan bellied a smirk and kept his attention firmly on the blocks going between the holographic screens.  
  
“Yes, Lieutenant...” Shepard watched, amusement growing as Kaidan continued to _try_ and stay professional, even if it was seriously waning in Shepard’s opinion. “So, to list things off; today, we’ve established you’ve never worked under a female, you’re easily distracted by your team’s _assets_ and you think mine is _especially_ distracting. Plus, your sense of humour almost made me put a hole in the VI core.”  
  
“I know, I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again. Not on duty anyway...”  
  
“You’re always on duty, Alenko; I just don’t believe you ever get off….” John smirked more and leant into the Lieutenant’s space. “…duty that is.”  
  
Kaidan’s tanned skin flushed a darker colour as he continued to concentrate on the console. He opened his mouth to retort, but clamped his mouth shut again, biting his bottom lip between his teeth as his finger movements went faster across the controls.  
  
Shepard turned, glancing at the screen and his eyes flicked open a little wider when he saw that Kaidan was _actually doing it_. The blocks were doing as they were bloody told, and he wasn’t surprised in the slightest actually because when it came to Kaidan and his magical technological set of fingers, anything was possible.   
  
He opened his mouth to congratulate the Lieutenant, but then everything went black.   
  
The hum of the core died with an echo and the generators surrounding them sputtered to a stop.  
  
“Fuck.” Shepard breathed.  
  
“Hey, Skipper, LT!”   
  
They craned their heads up towards the mouth of the hole to see the silhouette of the Gunnery Chief looking down on them. It was lighter up there, only because of the frosted windows, but down here, it was darker than the arse-end of a Vorcha.   
  
“Ash?” Shepard called back.  
  
“The power’s gone out, Skipper.”  
  
“Really..? And here I was hoping I’d just gone blind!”  
  
“Hey, Ash, I remember there being an entry hatch down into the under-floor circuitry. When I killed one of those Rachni things, I remember it spilling acid down through the floor vents. I’m gonna transfer the rest of my omni-gel to you, so if there’s damage done to a circuit board, you’ll be able to fix it easy.”

  
“Huh, good plan, LT!” There was a glow of orange from both beside him and at the top of the hole as Kaidan transferred his omni-gel to Ash, and then it was pitch black again. “Give me a half hour, the omni-gel is slow to work in cold conditions, colder now the power’s shut off.”  
  
“Understood, get moving.” Shepard replied and watched the Gunnery Chief’s shadow slip away from the lip of the hole. He turned to where he guessed Kaidan was and flicked the light attached to his heavy pistol on. Kaidan squinted and raised a hand over his eyes.   
  
“Sorry, bright lights and L2s just don’t mix.” He grumbled. Shepard turned the intensity of his torch down and then hooked his pistol onto the control panel to act as a sort of flood-light.  
  
“Don’t apologise…” Shepard paused. “That’s all I seem to hear you do. I know I’m your Commander, I know you’re the professional, by-the-books kind of soldier, but…”  
  
“…but you’re sick of me kissing your ass, if we’re speaking freely.”  
  
“And we are… And I’m also trying to make you do it more.” John stepped forward, shrugging. “There’s a time and place for such subordination, and that’s on the battlefield when I’m telling you what to do to save our asses. Here though, when we’re not talking about politics or battle strategies, I want you to… just relax for fucks sake.”  
  
“Alright, understood, Commander, but you’ll have to excuse the odd rank and ‘sir’ here and there… I don’t… uh…” Kaidan grimaced and reached to rake his fingers through his hair. “… I don’t find it easy to socialise outside of a ‘no sir’  ‘yes sir’ basis.”  
  
“Not many friends, Lieutenant?” Shepard grinned.  
  
“If you’re going to laugh at me, then-”  
  
“I’m not laughing at you.” He quickly interrupted. “I don’t have many friends either, but I was hoping you were one of them…” He cringed at how pathetic that sounded coming out of his mouth. He swallowed and turned his attention to the mouth of the hole overhead.  
  
“I um… I can’t imagine someone with so many people idolising him lacking in friendships…” Kaidan whispered. “All the soldiers I see looking up to you, taking hope from just your presence alone is… well… it’s amazing. And before you say it, I’m not kissing your ass, I mean it.”  
  
Shepard pulled his attention back down to the Lieutenant and watched how the man kept his eyes firmly on him, amber almost yellow as the light bounced off them.  
  
“I know you mean it. You’ve never lied to me and that’s something I really appreciate in you, Kaidan.”   
  
The Lieutenant hesitated, rolling the statement over in his head before a soft smile was tugging at his lips and his harsh eyebrows eased from their furrowed position.  
  
“I er… I’ve got your back, Shepard.”  
  
The Commander almost moaned at the sound of his name coming from the biotic. The whiskey rough voice had formed it so smoothly on his tongue, it was like liquid sex running straight down his spine.  
  
“Are you alright..?”  
  
Shepard opened his eyes again to find the Lieutenant had moved closer, fingertips lightly pressed against his forearm and yeah, that must’ve looked great, closing his eyes and trying to quell a boner just because his Lieutenant had said his second name and not his rank this time.  
  
“Yeah, I’m just running a bit low on energy.” He wasn’t lying, even if he did skirt the truth a bit. His stomach felt bloated, signalling he should have eaten a few times since his last meal, but he hadn’t found the time to. His mind returned to reality as he heard the crackling of wrappers and something was taking and pressing an object into his hand. He glanced down to find Kaidan’s hand holding up his own, a bar of _something_ pressed tight into his palm.  
  
“Here. I’ve got a few more in my pockets.”   
  
“Of course, you’re a biotic. You require a larger calorie intake.” Shepard murmured, not pulling his hand free of the Lieutenant’s grip even when he’d closed his hand around the bar of _something_ that looked very _home-made._  
  
“Yeah, I make a habit of bringing food with me on a mission. It started getting awkward asking my squad to pull over for a picnic.”  
  
Shepard smirked and looked down to what he was holding.  
  
“What is it..?” He asked, nodding towards the bar of _very home-made something._  
  
“Shortbread with sour cherries and white chocolate… I’d offer you one of the fudge and raisin ones, but they contain crushed biotic nutrient supplements. I only crack out those bad boys when I’m seriously feeling the fatigue. Plus, biotic nutrient supplements are basically stimulants; non-biotics can have some… adverse side-effects. Most consist of violent vomiting, increased heart-rate and seizures.”  
  
“Oh…” Shepard blinked, glancing at the shortbread in his hand. “They look home-made.”  
  
“It’s because they are. My mom sends me a box of them every month that I pick up from the Citadel.” Kaidan paused and leant his weight back against the wall surrounding them. He looked like he was exposed, nervous as he pushed his hands under his armpits, or maybe he was just cold, he didn’t know. “And… When I pick up the box it smells like home… It smells like Dad’s comfy chair and Mom’s kitchen…”  
  
“Everyone needs something to keep them grounded… something to keep fighting for when everyone’s dying around them…” Shepard closed his eyes and slid down onto the floor with his back against the wall wrapping around them. “I envy that about you, Lieutenant. You may think you’re alone, but at least you have a family back home waiting for you, checking on you, sending you supplies to keep you going. Most soldiers don’t have that because most soldiers join the war with blood already on their hands, wanting revenge.”  
  
“It’s a shame I can’t say I’m not one of them, Shepard. I don’t want revenge, sure… but the blood’s there.” Kaidan pulled off the wall and slowly approached the Commander. He watched the man kneel down in front of him and take the shortbread from his hand. “Maybe, I’ll have the revenge thing too.” Kaidan whispered and pulled the shortbread from the cling film wrapping.  
  
Shepard glanced up to the biotic’s eyes, but couldn’t seem much but the thick eyebrows and a faint sheen of moisture from the eyeballs themselves, the light at his back casting a shadow across his features. He wanted to thank the man after realising he’d done nothing but question the shortbread that obviously meant a lot to him, and was an honour to be told about, let alone received considering how private the Lieutenant was; but he was having a chunk of the shortbread crammed into his mouth before he could draw breath.  
  
Probably for the best seeing he definitely would have choked.  
  
“Sometimes… soldiers have to do what they can to keep their comrades on their feet. If they fall, then no one’s going to be there if you fall in the end too.”  
  
“Does that involve almost choking your Commander with delicious pastries?”  
  
Kaidan chuckled, honest and light as he broke off another piece of the shortbread and held it against Shepard’s lips. “Possibly.”  
  
“… I understand what you’re saying, Alenko.” Shepard finally sighed. “You’ve got to support the soldiers who have nothing to pick them up when shit hits the fan.”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
“And you just _assume_ I’m one of those soldiers..?” He whispered, taking the shortbread into his mouth after he’d let the Lieutenant hold it against his lips long enough.  
  
“Yes. No. I…er…” Alenko frowned, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know… So yeah, I guess I am assuming. Gut instinct…”  
  
“Well, give your gut a high-five...You’re right, I don’t have the support you have… orphan.” He mumbled, brushing the crumbs gathering in the creases of his suit away.  
  
“Oh…” Kaidan shifted uncomfortably and sat back on his arse with a thump, legs crossing lazily. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I should keep my mouth shut.” There was a pregnant pause as the Lieutenant studied Shepard’s features, then a chuckle when Shepard stole the shortbread from his fingers.  
  
“Good huh..?” He smiled.  
  
“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t give your mother sanctioning orders to be the Normandy’s cook.”  
  
“Hey, my mom’s good, but there’s only so much you can make from a protein bar and a can of Benning beans.”  
  
Shepard laughed loudly and covered his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll pick more supplies up when we’re next on the Citadel – otherwise I can have it delivered to the ship. It depends on how desperate we are.” He smiled, before dropping his gaze to his lap.  
  
Another silence fell upon them, but this time it was comfortable. His fingers worked back and forth across the clear wrapping as the Lieutenant leant back on the wall beside him. His presence was reassuring, even if the life of his torch was being sapped and the light was dimming, he still felt OK because Kaidan was there.  
  
He wasn’t sure he would feel as comfortable if Ash was there instead, or any other member of crew, but he didn’t think into that too deeply, not yet anyway. He respected his Lieutenant and the feeling was mutual, he didn’t want to destroy that by thinking anything but friendly, clean thoughts of the man. There was a time and a place for such things; alone, in his bed, in the shower, in his quarters with his hand wrapped around himself, letting any noise out into his surroundings.  
  
“Shepard.”  
  
John looked up from where he was worrying the cling film in his fingers, the shortbread now long gone. He could get used to the Lieutenant saying his name, but thinking dirty thoughts right now wasn’t advisable.  
  
“Yes, Kaidan?” He replied and turned his gaze back on the biotic, trying to ignore the torch on his pistol now barely illuminating anything. Once it shut off, it would recharge – unfortunately it needed solar power to do that… and Shepard wasn’t seeing any close, bright burning stars suddenly appearing in the VI core any time soon.  
  
“Are you OK?”  
  
“Yes, thank you. That shortbread hit the…”  Shepard stopped talking just as the torch shut off. He didn’t like the dark. It was too easy to remember things, things he didn’t want to remember but would creep up on him in the dark like a ghost draped in black until it was too late and he was a mess of heavy breaths and cold sweats.   
  
_The Batarian slavers dragging him aboard, tying him up with no clothes to hide behind, exposed to any Batarian who walked by with a torch to flash in his face.  
  
Then thick darkness, hands tied to his feet, hearing the harsh, hissed voices of the Batarians ordering the sale of some and the deaths of many._  
  
“Shepard.” Kaidan called firmly.  
  
John brought his face up from where it was hanging down against his drawn-up knees. He was breathing deeply, moisture clinging to his forehead, mouth dry and arms trembling around his calves. Then there was this orange glow. He concentrated on it as it waved left, then right, over his face, his eyes squinting at the sudden light.  
  
“Damn, your heart’s pretty fast. Shit, I didn’t give you one of the fudge and raisin shortbreads… did I?” Kaidan quickly went to his pockets to search the contents and with the orange light gone, Shepard was back in his memories.  
  
 _Doors sliding open on rough tracks, rusted – who still made their doors out of metal bars anyway? He can hear them coming for him, extra chains, he knows they call him feisty when he’s scared shitless. The snap of the chain as he fights, trying to kick them off when all he wants to do is let them cut his throat open and dispose of him.  
  
Who knew Batarians shared such familiar anatomy to humans? Cutting down his back and burning the mark of a Batarian slave into his backside, laughing at him. The screeches of their amusement reaching the ends of the halls as he lays naked, beaten and _ crying _and waiting for their next sick kicks they tear from his body.  
  
Grabbing at him, their talons cutting his skin, forcing him onto his front and showing him just how similar to humans their anatomy really is. Every day it’s the same, sometimes they leave that part out, other times it’s just another perk of the job. Most of the time it’s the constant grabbing of his skin, tearing it open and slicking his skin with blood; shaking him until the room is spinning in the dark and he can’t tell if he’s on the floor or the ceiling. Hands- talons shaking roughly, knocking his head back against the ground and all he wants to do is break a hand free and-_  
  
“Commander!”   
  
Shepard let a punch fly as soon as there was light again. His fist slammed into something soft and suddenly there was a gust of hot air against his shoulder and a weight settling heavily against him, before it slipped off with a _thump_ on the floor.  
  
 _Get them off, get them away, don’t touch me, the pain is coming if I don’t put up a fight they’ll have more energy to use when_ screwing me senseless _.  
  
_ There was a sound of gagging and retching and there was something flashing on his arm. He pulled up his omnitool and realised it was a warning. It was telling him one of his squad members had been hurt and for a second he was bristling, thinking it was Ash stuck in the under-floor circuitry, out of their reach, being eaten by Rachni swarmers and dissolved by acid.  
  
But then there was another sound next to him of something wet hitting the floor and another cough. He swung the orange glow of his omnitool over and suddenly everything made painful sense.  
  
“Kaidan!” He snapped, scrambling up onto his knees and holding the man’s forearms as he retched again, gasping sharply. The biotics hands were pressed to his stomach firmly, but Shepard didn’t understand what had happened, had he suddenly come down with an illness? Was he poisoned? He shone his omnitool closer to the small puddle of bile on the floor. No blood, no foreign objects that weren’t partially digested protein bars and no life-forms crawling around in it.  
  
By all appearances, the man had just doubled over and vomited. Perhaps he was witnessing a migraine so bad he’d thrown up in response?  
  
The warning on his arm _wouldn’t_ have popped up if he was suffering from a migraine, they’d programmed that out ages ago since that annoying incident on the Citadel around Chora’s den where Shepard’s squad status alert kept going off because the bright lights and deep bass from the club had almost doubled Kaidan over in pain. OK, worrying, not annoying, but the beeping pissed him off enough to send Kaidan back to the ship and get his omnitool reprogrammed later by Tali.  
  
“Are you alright? What’s happening?” He finally asked once Kaidan had finished dry-heaving enough to take some deep breaths.  
  
“You… I… Did I do something w-wrong, Commander..?” Kaidan coughed.  
  
“What? No. You’re being sick, that’s not wrong, I’m concerned you’re sick.” Shepard frowned, shaking his head because the Lieutenant wasn’t making any sense.  
  
“You punched me.” He cringed and slowly turned over onto his back, away from the vomit. “Right … in the stomach… did I do something wrong..?”  
  
Ok, that made sense. Shepard blinked slowly, then rose his eyebrows as the realisation hit him. He was so overcome by the traumatic memories flooding back from the months spent trapped on a Batarian Slaver ship that he’d lashed out, thinking Kaidan was a Batarian when he’d tried to shake him from his memories.  
  
He hated the dark exactly for these reasons. He just… couldn’t deal with what it brought back, no matter how many pills the psychologists tried to push his way, or how often he’d meditate in the privacy of his quarters to keep himself calm… there was always a light on whenever he slept.  
  
“Kaidan I… I’m so sorry.” Shepard whispered and placed his fingers over Kaidan’s belly as he gently pulled him to sit up. “I… I don’t know how to explain it… You didn’t do anything wrong, you were trying to help me.”  
  
“When your Commander starts to have a panic attack, you can’t really do anything _but_ help.” Kaidan said hoarsely. “Are you OK? Do… do you want to talk about it..?”  
  
Shepard clenched his jaw tight and carefully began to rub his fingers over the Lieutenant’s belly in an attempt to sooth the nauseating pain he could bet was coming from it. He’d punched the man pretty damn hard if it was enough to spill the contents, what little there was, of his stomach after all.  
  
“I was a Batarian slave for almost a year…”  
  
Kaidan turned his eyes up to his Commander and Shepard looked back, silently requesting he didn’t push him to reveal what they’d done to him, how they’d done it and why he always showered alone because of the marks, both stamps and scars, they’d left on his body.  
  
“You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were having a heart attack or something. I kept thinking _shit I don’t have field medic training for heart attacks._ And then I started thinking of which biotic move I could do to get your heart started again if it stopped.” Kaidan paused and swallowed. “But, you said something about them… forcing you down… when you were … lost.”

 

 _Lost… yeah, that’s a good word for what just happened. Lost._  
  
Shepard squeezed his eyes shut, but snapped them open again when the darkness behind them threatened to bring everything back again. He took a shaky breath and concentrated his gaze on the glow of both his and Kaidan’s omnitools.  
  
“Not so much Batarian slaver as… Batarian whore…”  
  
“Fuck, Shepard.” Kaidan whispered and grasped Shepard’s hand tight. He hadn’t even realised the ball of cling film still held in his palm until Kaidan had uncurled his fingers to hold his hand and it had rolled off onto the floor. He picked it up with his other hand and pushed it into his pocket.  
  
“This is starting to become a bit of a _feels fest_ , Lieutenant.” He chuckled quietly.  
  
Kaidan didn’t laugh with him. He just stared at his Commander, eyes taking in the look on his face until he reached forward with his freehand and wiped something from his face.   
  
He felt a moistness where the thumb had been and realised he’d been _crying_ , just like he had been in his cell all those years ago, blood soaked, his body screaming in pain but his face blank and dead.  
  
There was a thud as his head landed back against the wall.   
  
“Do… you…er… Do you want a hug..?”   
  
Shepard grinned uncontrollably and looked back from the mouth of the hole to the biotic in front of him.  
  
“Does a Krogan shit in Tuchanka?”   
  
Finally, Kaidan gave a soft chuckle and breathed in as he moved carefully to the Commander’s side. Shepard turned and wrapped his arms around the Lieutenant’s waist as the others arms linked around his shoulders and held tightly on his back. The sniper and assault rifles made the hug a bit awkward, made most things awkward actually, but it still felt _fucking amazing_ to have this contact after so damn long, even if it was meant in innocence and comfort.  
  
“We… er… should get something else in your head to associate with darkness. Something that’ll make you comfortable in the dark like… I don’t know…”  
  
“Is that you offering to help me..?” Shepard murmured as the Lieutenant slowly withdrew and sat opposite him again.  
  
“If you want the help, sure…”   
  
John stared at the Lieutenant directly in front of him and took a slow, careful breath.  
  
“I’m willing to accept anything you have to offer. But I won’t take advantage. I don’t want you coming away from this thinking I’ve taken what I’ve wanted and don’t want anything else.”  
  
The Lieutenant looked more confused as ever. Shepard could practically hear the gears turning inside his skull. Eventually, Kaidan glanced to the side and nodded to their omnitools.  
  
“Let’s turn these off.”  
  
Kaidan switched his off at the end of his sentence, and then fixed his amber gaze on his Commander to do the same. John glanced to the omnitool, swallowed thickly and found that his other arm was shaking almost violently as he reached and flicked it off.  
  
There was nothing but darkness from then on and he could feel himself slipping already. The trembling spread from his arm down to his legs and they scuffed the ground as the shivers caused painful contractions of his muscles beneath his suit. He was losing himself.  
  
Getting _lost again._  
  
“Shepard.” A pair of delicate hands ran over his shins, then up and over his knees where they squeezed between and gently eased them apart. The fingers then slid down his thighs and settled over his hips, not squeezing, not grabbing, not dragging him towards a painfully large prick completely unprepared, just… holding. His eyes hunted the Lieutenant’s in the dark, desperate to find the fiery amber in the wall of black.   
  
“I’m here… I’m not leaving, I promise.” The hands slid off from his thighs and Shepard felt himself starting to panic, reach towards the man and grasp his belt tightly.  
  
“Hold me there… You’ll see, I won’t go anywhere, I promised you.” The sound of Kaidan fiddling with something on his belt filled the small space. He could feel the jerk of movement when he freed whatever he was hunting for. The water flask.   
  
Shepard watched as the man tipped his head back and swallowed large gulps, swishing it around his mouth and swallowing again with a bit more effort. A hand swept over his mouth and if this was Kaidan not even _trying_ to give him a raging boner, he wanted to find out just what sorts of weird shit his cock would do if he did. The flask slid back into place, and so did the Lieutenant’s hands shortly after.  
  
Shepard gave a soft sigh as the fingers pressed into the creases the suit created at the junction of his thigh and hip, smoothing them out, before tentatively moving up to his waist. Every touch felt more amazing than the last.  
  
“I’m with you.”  
  
The voice was so close now, breath brushed his face and he could smell the remnants of a protein bar and fresh water. He craned towards the scent and at the very last second, he caught a glimpse of those ambers glowing bright in endless charm. A spark ignited inside him as soft, full lips sealed against his own and a steady weight pressed behind them, forcing his head back against the wall. His hands slid up the man’s chest and found purchase in the perfectly kept black mane that Shepard was _sure_ broke a few regulations.  
  
 _Rebel_  
  
Shepard opened his lips against the Lieutenants, swallowing a gasp as his fingers ventured over the amp hidden beneath the bump in Kaidan’s hair. L3 amps were almost completely undetectable over the skin, but the L2s had large primitive amps that had to be attached at the base of the skull. It was clear Kaidan was uncomfortable with it if he chose to hide it like he did.  
  
He almost groaned when the biotic slowly pulled away to catch his breath. Shepard tried to follow, but a hand against his chest stopped him and kept him restricted against the wall.  
  
“Stand.”   
  
A shiver tore down his spine when the order came in loud and clear. He tried to give Kaidan an irritated scowl, but it was clear he wasn’t going to see it through such intense darkness, he could still barely see himself and he’d had his eyes open the whole time. His boots scraped across the floor as he heaved himself from the floor and leant back against the wall. He felt a severe case of vertigo wash over him until he felt hands clasp his own and ground him again.   
  
“I’m here.” Said the Lieutenant from the floor, then there was a shuffle. “I’m touching you, I’ve got you…” The voice was level with him now.   
  
“I want to see you.” Shepard whispered.  
  
“There will be time for that later… I’m trying to help you.” He pushed forward and pressed a kiss into the juncture of neck tendon to jaw, which John clenched tightly around a moan in response. His lips parted, wanting and opening wider as the Lieutenant stumbled upon a very sensitive area of his neck, right above a scar.  
  
His eyes snapped open before the story behind the scar claimed his mind and brought his reality grinding to a halt. His fingers slid up to Kaidan’s face and turned it back towards his own. He craned forward and tasted the lips that had caught his attention the very second he met the biotic. His hands fell away from the man’s face and settled on his hips, pulling him closer until they were very much pressed together.  
  
A sharp breath escaped the Lieutenant and Shepard savoured it as his fingers found the gun that had been painfully pressing into his inner thigh since it had been lifted against the biotic’s side. He removed it from the holster and wrapped his arm around the man’s waist, the heavy pistol dangling from his fingertips. The hand holding his thigh against Kaidan’s hip slid down and kneaded the firm muscle through the enviro-suit. Shepard groaned; a soft thing released through his nose.  
  
“Commander…” Alenko growled and pushed his hips forward against his commanding officer’s backside. Even through the tough, armoured crutch padding, he could feel the swell of flesh grind against the back of his own. His mouth fell open around a moan that he tried to muffle within the kiss, but the Lieutenant was already dropping to his knees and pulling off the Commander’s crutch guard. He gasped and settled his once risen leg down on the Lieutenant’s shoulder, feeling the strength beneath it hold it up with ease even though his body was putting a lot of weight into the action.  
  
“Hurry.” Shepard heard himself pant as his hands returned to the soft locks of ebony hair. Kaidan didn’t respond, his fingers were hurrying up, though and soon his hot flesh met the icy Noverian climate. The contrast felt amazing, but not as amazing as the lesser ranking officer’s lips mouthing the base of his exposed prick.  
  
If someone told him at the briefing of this mission he’d be receiving a battle-field blow job half way through, he- well, first of all he would have stared very hard at the person giving him the brief, then giggled a bit and finally spaced them out of the airlock, but he definitely wouldn’t have believed them.  
  
Though, here he was. Stuck in a deep hole, waiting for the power to be turned back on with Kaidan _Ass_ lenko between his thighs and his mouth so _hot_ and _fuck_ on his cock.  
  
Shepard took a deep breath and rolled his head back on the wall, eyes squeezing shut as he not only felt, but _listened_ to the Lieutenant’s mouth working laps up and down his cock. He growled, desperate to be completely engulfed in a heat, but with the temperatures so dire, he knew he couldn’t risk Kaidan’s health just to fuck him up against the wall. He’d probably freeze right against it.  
  
So, when Kaidan opened his mouth and sucked in the tip, Shepard lost his bearings and had to clutch the Lieutenant’s hair a little tighter.  
  
“Mnf~” He groaned, pressing a flat palm over Shepard’s belly.  
  
John briefly wondered where his other hand was, because it wasn’t anywhere on his body, and he couldn’t hope to see it in the darkness he was in, so he had to ask.  
  
“Where’s your other hand, Alenko?” He asked breathlessly. He almost regretted asking when the biotic’s mouth slid off him with a pop.  
  
“Jerking off, Sir…” He panted.  
  
Yup, totally worth it, Shepard grinned.   
  
“Carry on, Lieutenant.”   
  
“Aye-aye, Commander.”   
  
John almost came when the mouth returned to him with more vigour this time. He took a sharp breath and relaxed himself, his fingers applying pressure around the base of his cock.  
  
“Damn.” He hissed and bucked his hips just to hear the hitch in heavy breath coming from below. “Jacking off when you’re taking a dick in the mouth. You’ve had practice.”  
  
Kaidan didn’t respond, just hummed in acknowledgement like ‘ _I know I’m awesome’_ and took his Commander deeper, opening his throat to the invasion as Shepard crumpled and bucked into the sensation.   
  
“God, I wish I could see you.”   
  
Another hum and Shepard was shaking in pleasure. He opened his lips again, sucking in harsher breaths until there was a real sudden threat of spilling his load whilst screaming like a virgin. He pushed his knuckle into his mouth and moaned, his other hand giving a tug to Kaidan’s hair in warning of his impending orgasm.  
  
Kaidan either didn’t _get_ the warning, or just didn’t _care_. He deep throated with only a slight gag and his free hand massaged the balls still trapped in Shepard’s suit, all the while his fist pounded harder against his flesh. A fierce heat, almost bordering on a cramp flashed down his gut and he opened his eyes again, not remembering when he’d closed them.  
  
He was met with darkness.  
  
“Kaidan~” Shepard gasped, he was so close, so damn desperate for a single glimpse of the biotic’s mouth stretched wide over his prick, so he flicked his omnitool on and shone it close to Kaidan’s face. The amber eyes flared blue suddenly and he felt his entire body crackle and tingle with the effects of biotics. He opened his mouth to question what had happened, but then the Lieutenant’s spine was arching and a sharp breath escaped his nose as he pulled off the prick and released a loud, sultry, whisky dry groan from deep within his chest.

 

The biotics cracked and flared across his form like a neon blue wild fire over his skin and it took a few seconds to realise this was a male biotic at the peak of his orgasm, gasping, jerking softly and alit with energy as he loses control.   
  
There was a spark of biotics and a scrape of stubble against his tip and he was gone. He knocked his head loudly back against the wall and rolled his hips into nothing as he rode out his orgasm. It wasn’t as dramatic as Kaidan’s, but then again he didn’t have the visual effects and light show to boot like he did. He was just a normal human being with needs to match. He slumped and landed on his arse on the floor, then he looked up.   
  
His eyes trailed across the Lieutenant’s features as the biotics burnt off until all they were left with was the smell of o-zone. Shepard leant forward and licked a web of come that had landed on Kaidan’s cheek away, still panting softly but not too tired to realise he should tuck himself away like Kaidan was doing.  
  
“Does that happen every time you come..?” He asked.  
  
“Yup.” Kaidan grinned.  
  
Shepard smirked, leant forward, then frowned and withdrew.  
  
“Having fun down there, boys?”   
  
Both men craned their heads up and caught sight of their Gunnery Chief leaning over the side of the hole.  
  
When had the lights come back on..?

**Author's Note:**

> (I'll be honest, I used the internet to solve it after 30 minutes of mashing my Playstation controller.... into my forehead.)


End file.
